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Stella Awards 2002
It's time once again to consider the
candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named after
81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued
McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous
successful lawsuits in the United
States.
The following are candidates for 2002:
1. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a
furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the
verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
2. A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses
when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently
didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to
steal his neighbor's hub caps.
3. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just
finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to
go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter
the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled
it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the
garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag
of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused
him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
4. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle.
The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than
sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at
the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
5. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx
(tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at
her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
6. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night
club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor
and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying
to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover
charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
7. This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.
On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise
control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make
himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed
and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's
manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a
new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this
suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation
vehicles.