*forwarded message*

[Humor] Marriage!!

 

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and

be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

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At the cocktail party, one man said to another, "Aren't you

wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"  The other

man replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong woman."

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A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband  wanted".

Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the

same thing: "You can have mine."

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When a woman steals your husband, there is

no better revenge than to let her keep him.

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Eighty percent of married men cheat in

the USA The rest cheat in Canada.

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A woman is incomplete until she is married.

Then she is finished!

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much

does it cost to get married?" And the father replied,

"I don't know son, I'm still paying."

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Young son: "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa

a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad: "That happens in every country, son."

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Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew

what real happiness was until I got married;  . . .

and by then it was too late !"

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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict

attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go

through life thinking they had no faults at all.

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You know the honeymoon is pretty much over

when you start to go out with the boys on

Wednesday nights, and so does she.

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Husband: "Want a quickie?"

Wife:  "As opposed to what?"

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First guy:  "My wife's an angel!"

Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk

down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and

still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.