Genie's Lamp


A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's



She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared.

The amazed woman asked if she was going to receive the usual three



The Genie said, "Nope... due to inflation, constant downsizing, low

wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can

only grant you one wish. So...what'll it be?"


The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East.

See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."


The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady! These

countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not

THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."


The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to

find the right man. You know one that's considerate and fun, likes to

cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in bed and gets along

with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful.

That's what I wish for ... a good mate."


The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Let me see that fuckin 'map!"